Maintenance makes the world go 'round
Houston Chronicle, June 2003
By William Dylan Powell

You've never truly humbled yourself until you've been glued to the road. I don't mean having lived a peripatetic lifestyle. I mean literally glued a part of your body - your right arm, for example - to the pavement along with pieces of dirt, pools of sweat, crunchy leaf bits and globs of motor oil.

I was reminded of this on a Saturday afternoon last fall. As I threw open the front door, herding leaves inside with my sneakers, I beamed. In my hands I paraded the trophies of a modern-day hunter-gatherer: two bottles of wine, a carton of ice cream, an early-edition newspaper and a small brown paper sack.
mainnance (mant'n ens) n. 1. The act of maintaining or the state of being maintained. 2. The work of keeping something in proper condition; upkeep. 3 . Provision of support or livelihood: took over the maintenance of her family. Means of support or livelihood: was ordered to pay maintenance for both children. - The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

"What's in the sack, babe?" my wife asked. "Oh, nothing," I replied casually, "just $200."

It wasn't actually $200 in cash - it was a muffler repair kit I'd bought at the auto parts store for $1.50. But in my mind it represented a savings of the $200 or so my mechanic wanted to replace a muffler that in previous weeks had begun to sound like a cross between a Cessna and a hive of Africanized killer bees. She caught on right away, nodding her head sympathetically and returning to the pages of Lucky magazine. She knew my record with such affairs.

The repair kit included a square piece of aluminum foil, a metal wire, a long gauze bandage and a silver pouch of glue. According to the kit's instructions you clean the muffler, dip the bandage in the glue, hold the foil over the area of corrosion, and wrap the whole deal in the gauze - which sets overnight.

Standards must be maintained: Schedule in peak condition. Failures not covered, check periodically for fluid, lights and restraint. - Acura Integra owner's manual

It sounded so easy. These things always sound easy - like those home improvement shows on television. A clean-cut guy with a flashy name and a bunch of shiny gadgets manages to build a log cabin or restore a '59 Corvette in 21 minutes, plus commercial time. I, on the other hand, am the Pol Pot of home and auto repair. Logic and reason yield to accusation and fits of rage. Education is the enemy, and nothing escapes undamaged. An hour and a half into the muffler project, glue hardening from the muffler to my arm and onto the street, wire and aluminum foil whipping around the car's undercarriage like a carbon-monoxide hibachi, the only thing I had fixed was the price of the eventual repair: $201.50 plus tax.

Shaving face: We recommend you clean shaver every few shaves by lifting head. Servicing should be performed by an authorized center. - Wahl id electric shaver

I've always wanted to be a maintenance man. Not in a professional sense, but in a personal sense: one who respects the process of maintenance. Flossing teeth. Having the oil in your car changed. Writing a love letter to your spouse. None of these things involve the pleasures of falling asleep on the couch with an empty bottle of port, buying a new-car-smell convertible or falling for the scent and skin of a fresh affair. But if a person's character could be painted on canvas, one who embraces maintenance in all affairs would surely look like Renoir's Jeanne Samary.

A few months after the muffler incident, I woke up at 4 a.m. It was winter, and the branches of the leafless oak outside our bedroom thrashed like a fistful of horse's tails. I decided to make an early day of it. So I got dressed, tore off a few pieces of leftover pizza and hit the street.

At the end of my block, there he was: a heavyset middle-aged man jumping rope in the street. Like a German clock, he's been jumping rope in that same spot at 4:30 a.m. for at least the last eight years. I've never spoken to him. But if I'm out at that hour, I know he'll be there.

As I drove by, I saw his face peak out from his Rocky Balboa hood for the first time. It was bland with a slight jowl, blank and mechanical - not the joyous striving of an Olympic hopeful. Maintenance.

Made in USA: American made, dark colors separately - warm iron if needed. Cold gentle cycle with bleach, shrinkage controlled with emblem. - Three of my T-shirts

Houseplants may refer to our staircase as the Brown Mile. I can turn a routine fire detector inspection into the fire marshal's version of the Cirque du Soleil. But I respect the process of maintenance. And at least I try, humbly admiring the men and women who do achieve its mastery.

back to consumer