Stop this terror-by-tow-truck
Houston Chronicle, February 2002

The time: 7:50 a.m. The place: Katy Freeway. Inbound. With sleep in your eyes, Starbucks in hand and fuzzy mental schedules swimming upstream to spawn, you suddenly catch an explosion of light ahead.

Traffic has stopped; a swarm of tow trucks blocking the road. "Great Scots!" you think. What horrible tragedy has befallen us? Gangland shooting? Police chase gone awry? Enron company picnic?

None of those things. The cause of this now significant delay: one lone motorist--out of gas. And no less than 14 tow trucks.

Last year, the city of Houston suspended its oversight for wrecker drivers. It's difficult to tell how that decision has affected the market for wrecker service, from either a proprietary or consumer standpoint. But I can say with absolute authority it hasn't improved the pleasantry of sharing the road with these free-wheeling warlords.

Tow trucks in this city are out of control. And I'm not just talking about their oft-hated business practices. Actually, their entrepreneurial initiative is among their most admirable qualities. Their profession is supply and demand incarnate. Chronicle readers have been inundated with stories portraying motorists in unfortunate circumstances; charged draconian fees for even the most basic wrecker service. But most of their clientele's indignation usually stems from the frustration and disappointment of having been wrecked, broken down or repossessed.

The bottom line is that nobody--usually--is forcing the service on you. What they are forcing on you is a potentially unsafe--and definitely unpleasant--driving environment. Through the flashing yellow eyes of a Bayou City tow truck driver, the city is their oyster, which they--with rudeness--will open.

Recently, I saw a procession of towing professionals aggressively push their way through gridlocked Westheimer traffic at 8 a.m.; three lanes of commuters kowtowing to the urgency of a possible wreck up ahead. Their destination? A donut shop. Sure, tow truck drivers have to eat, too. But do they have to be jerks about it?

Houston tow trucks ignore the laws of both driving and physics as they race to their next potential customer--cutting off, bullying and just generally being rude to whomever is in their way. No class of driver, institution, or animal seems to quell their disregard for public safety and civility.

Maybe they deserve to treat other drivers with discourtesy, since they seem to possess skills and senses mere driving mortals do not. They employ an eerie clairvoyance, detecting vehicular havoc even before it arises. They can automatically teleport to an accident in groups of at least 20. And they possess the bargaining skills of the shrewdest of Persian bazaar traders. Not to mention the ability to manipulate complex financial models enabling them to quote fees just slightly lower than the vehicles' replacement value.

But something tells me underneath all of those professional skills lies a human being who likes to be treated with respect, and wants to go home safely to his family--just like other Houston drivers. So on behalf of the Houston driving population, allow me to formally request that tow-truck drivers try not to inflict quite so many symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder on the rest of us.